Drama Rules on Lisa Vanderpump’s New Show

Young pretty people cliques are in full effect

Drama Rules on Lisa Vanderpump’s New Show

The only thing more entertaining than watching a bunch of older, wealthy women argue every week is to see younger, struggling beautiful people competing for money and attention and fame. That was likely the idea behind Bravo’s new show, Vanderpump Rules, which follows the young people who work at Lisa Vanderpump’s (The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills) trendy restaurant and lounge, Sur.

All are aspiring fame seekers, and waiting tables is their current means of paying the rent. The premise of the show seems to be that they all hang out together both inside and outside work, and boink each other, and argue and struggle to manage their Beautiful People Problems.

The show opened after a clever segue at the end of RHOBH during which main character Scheana apologized to Brandi Glanville for havign an affair with her ex-husband, Eddie Cibrian, while Brandi was pregnant with his second child.

Scheana has just been promoted to Sur from Lisa’s other restaurant, Villa Blanca, and the women on the Sur staff are shunning her because she’s a “homewrecker,” “husband stealer,” “fame whore,” “man-stealer,” “star f***er” and a litany of other adjectives bestowed upon her by her nemesis and mean girl ringleader, Stassi.

Lisa laid low in the first episode, only meeting with her partner to make menu changes and discuss how dysfunctional the staff is.

And boy, are they. Here’s an introduction to the group:

SCHEANA — Scheana made her apologies to Brandi during Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She seemed sincere and she WAS young(er) and dumb(er) at the time, so we’ll give her the benefit of the doubt.
As it turns out, though, being a homewrecker is a big deal to Stassi, who is dating the bartender, Jax, and seems entirely too insecure about their relationship. Scheana is the immediate outcast in the Sur chick clique, and the girls are so horrid to her, that she instantly becomes the sympathetic character.
That is, until she stepped into the music studio. An  aspiring actress, Scheana is also recording a music single, because, she said,  “Being a pop star is about being a performer, not a singer.” Her “performance” in the studio didn’t involve singing, but groaning fake orgasms into the microphone in front of a studio full of dudes. Not exactly helping her slut image.
Scheana has some nondescript boyfriend who can’t be on her roster for long. She’s too hot and socially ambitious to date some schlub.

STASSI — Mean girl Stassi (pronounced STAH-see)  rubbed us the wrong way immediately with her stupid name. Then, to cement her position as HBIC (Head Bitch in Charge), she called Scheana a man-stealer about five thousand times; got mad at her boyfriend, Jax, for daring speak to the new girl; rallied the other girls in shunning Scheana; insisted she herself was a descendent of a Swedish princess, but then admitted that she was also the devil.
Stassi admits that when she doesn’t like a new person, she’ll do anything to get them to quit. She apparently gets away with these shenanigans because she’s Lisa’s daughter’s friend. Lisa must be thrilled with the company Pandora keeps.
But the icing on Stassi’s bitch cake came when Scheana showed up for work wearing a similar uniform (which, for the record, is essentially a neck scarf draped around a size 2 body). “Everyone know the gray-blue color dress is my dress,” Stassi said. “You just don’t go there.” That’s great, because when someone hauls off and gives Stassi a shiner, it will complement her ensemble.

JAX — He’s a working model, a bartender at Sur, and Stassi’s better half, which isn’t really saying much. So far, he’s much more likeable than his woman. He met with all of his friends to discuss how possessive his girlfriend is, and bemoan how he’s at her beck and call. But I’m sure he’ll end up being an ass, too, because we find it hard to believe anyone on this show will be entirely endearing.

TOM – An aspiring actor/model/musician, Tom is also a bartender, Jax’s pal, and lived with girlfriend Kristen (below). Tom preens more in one sitting than most women do in a week. Armed with his CHI flat iron and 50 hair products, this dude is only slightly less hair-helmety than Jersey Shore’s Pauly D. Tom’s hair does move a tiny bit, but Tom shaves his freakin’ forehead, people. He’s been monopolizing bathroom counters with dating  Kristen for four years.

KRISTEN — Aspiring actress, and Tom’s girlfriend. Seems easy-going and down to earth… I mean, you’d have to be if your man was crowding you out of the bathroom, right? We can’t understand Stassi’s power over this girl quite yet, but they, along with Katie, are all best friends.

KATIE – We watched an hour of this show, and could barely tell the difference between Katie and Kristen. Katie is also brunette and skinny and dating a guy named Tom, except her Tom doesn’t work at Sur and his hair doesn’t look like Empire State Building. The only way we could tell Katie and Kristen apart was to see which one was kissing on hair helmet Tom.

What do you think of Vanderpump Rules?

Comments

  • Silk VanLeer

    “The show opened after a clever segway….” Really? Writers who want to be taken seriously (and paid) do not use words they don’t know, like, oh, “segue”.

  • http://www.realitynation.com/author/charlie-toft/ Charlie Toft

    Let’s see: Stassi seems like a lunatic, Katie is a nonentity, and as for Kristen, I have no use for people who move away from the Midwest and then immediately start dumping on it as too un-hip.

    God help me, but Scheana is probably my favorite of the women right now.

  • DN3

    I’m not sure what to think of “Vanderpump Rules” but then again I’m sure Bravo will try to make the storyline interesting so we can keep watching. I also had problems telling the difference between Kristen and Katie and even with the boyfriend’s I couldn’t tell the difference. I had to go into work last night at DISH and missed this episode when it first aired. I wasn’t sure I would make it home before the re-runs ended so set my DISH Hopper to record it before I left. My favorite shows always air at the same time as my family’s but now we can watch up to four HD programs at the same time in different rooms so none of us misses our favorite programs.

    • Trumpetpeet

      Worst advertising ever. Not even a little suttle. And also- this show sucks.

  • http://twitter.com/gaborrr gaborrr

    Doesn’t Scheana look like a skinny Kim K? I was obsessed with her huge eyes..how they make em so big? I wonder why when Stassi’s boyfriend tried to pick up the waitress at Parlor she thought he was from a gay bar? Love the Merry Go around game..twirling and twirling and twirling the girls around..whose bed they end in nobody knows?! Whats the Over and Under on how long till Scheana takes all the boy toys..perhaps all at once..

  • Summerlandgirl45

    Stassi is a bitch!!! Jax is whipped!! Come on Jax, get some balls and leave the bitch! GEEZ!!! Pathetic!!!

  • Caryn

    Ugh. Narcissistic, twenty-something fame whores who seem to be idiotically unaware that a world exists outside of them. Gosh, never seen this before on reality TV. Shoot me now.

  • Mastermindgroup1

    Well, well, well….hmmm. Lisa Vanderpimp seems to be the madam o’ the hour on reality television. I wonder if she was the mastermind behind the whole staff in the first place when she created the VillaBlanca’s sister store. Vision’s of grandeur comes into fruition, eh? Gotta love her.

  • Angieaussie

    Very addictive viewing if you ask me…haha They are so self indulging that it’s hilarious…lol This show is much more entertaining than even B H Housewives. : )

  • Scorpioluvher14

    how come the black girl isnt part of the “beutiful” stars Lisa? She can wait on your tables but not be a member of the cast? hmmmm

    • guest

      She has sense that’s why.

    • Bravoesque

      The black woman isn’t stupid enough. That’ why.

  • Leann

    ugh, these ppl aren’t even “beautiful”….they have buck teeth..

  • Caseyjo88

    I am in totally shock that any business owner would put up with all the drama and craziness that Stassi brings into Sur. Regardless of the fact that she is a friend of Lisa’s daughter, she should be fired. Stassi is such a mean girl and is toltally self-centered, as well as, insecure about herself and her relationship. But she does keep the show interesting.

  • Crysta;

    This is THE worst show ever. .show must go. Go back to RHBV. Lisa’s new show is just awful.

  • cherry

    I think Stassi is trash an Lisa should fire her..

  • Mkonst5420

    I totally thought the same thing about Kristen and Katie I so could not tell them apart and hello how far up Stasis’s ass can they go? Girls have a mind of your own? Stassi is horrid and needs to be fired dumped and deserted. Man I hope we get to see the day when everyone realizes what a piece of shit she really is. If I ever met her I’d just spit in her face for being a bad person who has no soul.

  • Guest

    ass. Lisa Vanderpump told Andy Cohen the truth re that. Andy brought up that royalty comment (on Watch What Happens) she laughed & said “She’s a descendent of a Swedish waitress & needs to remember that”. So another Stassi BS lie. She’s still ugly on the inside & has a flat ass. Jax better hope that their kids get his chin & hair color if they ever have kids. Her massive insecurity will only makes Jax cheat again. She needs to constantly be reassured & that is so exhausting & A turn-off to men. The only reason she doesn’t get fired is because she’s a friend of Pandora, Lisa’s daughter. She’ll never make it as a model because she has an unattractive walk, flat butt & does not have what it takes. She’ll remain a waitress at her guaranteed job & since that’s all she has, lord over the revolving staff (who will go on to other careers) while she stays stuck there.

  • Bravoesque

    Now I know why the black woman (not sure what her name is) is not a feature. She’s not stupid enough. I love Lisa, but this show is worthless.