The educational properties of reality TV cannot be denied. Viewers were treated to not one, but several important life lessons as the most recent installment of Vanderpump Rules aired Monday night:
1. Having sex at work is only wrong if you get caught.
So, Jax was still seeing bumping uglies with the squeaky ex-meth addict, and it was brought to Lisa’s attention that the two were caught getting it on in the bathroom at SUR — also known as their workplace. Apparently, security walked in on them, naked, against the romantic backdrop of urinals and electronic hand dryers.
While Lisa was at home digesting this information, the couple were shown sneaking off to have sex in the employee bathroom at a sushi restaurant, giggling all the way.
Next day, Lisa confronted the two, who wholeheartedly denied anything of the sort. We would NEVER have sex at work!, they said. I mean, if I did, I’d be smart enough to lock the door!, they said. We did have sex in the bathroom at the sushi spot, they said, but never here!
But, because Lisa hadn’t caught them in the act herself, she said she couldn’t fire them.
Then Jax told cameras that OF COURSE they boinked in the VIP restroom, but he’d never admit to that. And he also said that he felt pretty “meh,” about Laura-Leigh, who has clearly already fallen in love with him, in, like, a boiling bunnies in a pot sort of way.
2. Overcharging and threatening customers isn’t good for business.
Bravo missed out not capturing this scene, but apparently Frank got into it with a customer, which, in the end, got him sacked by Lisa.
When the customer ordered a couple of double drinks, Frank charged them double the price — $30 per cocktail — and the customer complained. If you can’t afford to drink here, go somewhere else, said Frank. Except unbeknownst to him, that customer was one of Lisa’s good friends. Frank also called the guy a nerd, and threatened to give him a Melvin in front of his date.
Guess what, Frank? You’re fired. Good riddance.
3. When faced with another one of your daughter’s loser boyfriends, drink heavily.
Frank was canned right before he was set to go to lunch with Stassi and meet her parents, who were over the moon that their daughter had dumped that big ol’ loser, Jax. When the couple arrived, Stassi’s parents had already been drinking since breakfast time, which probably helped lessen the blow when Frank admitted that A) he had been praying to get fired, and B) he was sick of doing stuff for their daughter all the time.
It was also during this time that we learned Stassi got a chin implant for her high school graduation.
4. Rebound relationships are built
to last for ass.
It was only a matter of time — days, in this case — before the budding relationship between Stassi and Frank came to an end. All of the sudden, Frank was being a hostile ass, and on top of it, wasn’t waiting on Stassi hand and foot anymore. They started arguing and she got up and walked out of her own apartment. The skirmish continued on the sidewalk where they exchanged insults — crazy! d*ck! bi-polar! selfish! — before going their separate ways.
Stassi lamented the loss of another boyfriend. “Two breakups in one summer,” she said, crying. “God is really trying to kill me.” Literally.
Literally count this episode: 8.
Total since last week: 17