Game over. The future winner of this season’s X Factor took to the stage during last night’s audition episode and surprise!–this young lady couldn’t even drive herself to the audition. After a long day of saying ‘no’ in Rhode Island, it was thirteen-year-old Carly Rose Sonenclar’s performance of “Feeling Good” by Nina Simone that brought all four judges to their feet (even before the performance ended). Carly has all the makings of a star. She’s young, adorable, confident and somehow has managed to channel the vocals of a woman three times her age, think a love child from Fiona Apple and Aretha Franklin.
There were two other contestants worth mentioning. First came sixteen-year-old Johnny Maxwell who sung/rapped his way to the next phase performing his own song “All These People” and then thirty-four-year-old Jason Brock that wowed the audience with a flashy version of Billy Joel’s “New York State of Mind.” Everyone else that performed on the stage last night, on the other hand, was cringe worthy, like Lexa German who claimed to be a triple threat as an actor, singer, and dancer. While she looked worthy of being on stage it turned out she couldn’t sing (or even act like she was singing). Even still, no one was as creepy as 20-year-old Pat Fort that showed up to the stage with a dozen red roses for his idol Britney Spears. After displaying one of the worst performaces of “Circus” ever recorded on TV (with awful dance moves to boot), the judges for once were speechless. After four quick ‘no’s’ and being asked to leave the stage, Pat stood there in attention and began professing his love for Britney, which could have been flattering if he didn’t appear like a serial killer. Poor Britney. To think your biggest fans now are lunatics that belong in a looney bin must not be that comforting, but then again she’s done her white wall time. So maybe not.
Next week Simon and gang will continue the search for the next best artist and I’m looking forward to seeing who shows up. My gut tells me no one stands a chance against Carly, but we’ll see. Until next week…
Quotes of the Night
Either my dreams come true or I have to go marry into a rich family.
- Lexa German prior to taking the stage
You’re not the best singer in the world but I like your attitude. The problem is no one else will like you.
- Simon on Lexa’s poor performance
Everything was good until you started singing.
- Simon on an imitation Black Street Boys group performance
Excuse me, stop. I can’t let you destroy that song sweetie.
- Britney Spears upon hearing a contestant poorly start singing a Whitney Houston song
I hope Britney’s hungry… because she’s about to get her filling of talent.
- Jason Brock while making his way to the audition
You are a song’s best friend.
- L. A. Reid upon hearing Brock (an unexpected Elton John clone) belt out his tune
If I won the five million dollars I’d buy a nice ass house, I’d drive a nice ass car and I’d have a nice ass girlfriend named Britney Spears.
- the delusional Pat Fort
It was like you had an arguement with Britney, then got drunk and decided to scream at her.
- Simon upon hearing Pat Fort’s serenade “Circus” to his idol Britney Spears
What was your favorite part of last night’s show? And do you like the new documentary-style format?